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Dark Times, Towards the Light: A Healing Journey UpdateI was discharged from hospital on Thursday, and am so happy to be home. I am okay. I had “not-a-stroke,” but we aren’t entirely sure what it is.

I was admitted on Wednesday afternoon, because my right side suddenly went numb and felt like it had collapsed. I had weakness, loss of sensation and numbness in my right side from head to foot. I still have these symptoms, but they’re better than they were.

I’ve had All Of The Tests from heart trace to CT scan, everything is clear so that’s good news. The doctors think perhaps it’s related to my pre-existing conditions.

Grace's hospital room

I’m home and safe and in the best position to heal. But taking everything moment by moment and going from there. I may be extra slow replying to emails and things so please bear with me.

If you would like to leave a positive message that can make me smile, it would be truly appreciated, but any recommendations on treatments or possible causes can be sent to Linus via Linus AT healing-boxes.com Thank you.

This is simply another twist on my healing journey, it’s tough right now but I anticipate further healing. It’s my job in this moment to love and nourish my body and give it space to settle & heal.

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

- Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times.

Right now I’m only just past the crisis moment, and mostly sleeping, but I’m trying to make sure I achieve one thing every day, big/small/amazing/trivial – doesn’t matter – just something.

“This is your body,
your greatest gift,
pregnant with wisdom you do not hear,
grief you thought was forgotten,
And joy you have never known…
If you can listen to the wisdom of your body,
love this flesh and bone,
dedicate yourself to its mystery,
you may one day
find yourself
smiling from your mirror.”

- Marion Woodman

I wish you a wonderful festive season and will be back blogging in the new year. In the mean time, check out my previous festive posts and do follow my healing adventures on Twitter and Instagram.


Charging for Our Truth

Charging for Our Truth“There is a charge for the eyeing of my scars. There is a charge for the hearing of my heart. There is a charge, a very large charge, for a word, or a touch, or a bit of blood, or a piece of my hair or my clothes” – Sylvia Plath, Lazarus.

Truth is essential, truth feeds our soul and truth sets us free. But the truth is not free.

When we are a personal brand, when we are charging for sharing our truth, our story, our big fat opinion (as my dear friend Dyana Valentine says) where do the boundaries lie?

It takes something from me to tell these tales.

It frees something too.

If you have struggled with people eying your scars, come and check out my latest article on Positively Positive, Keeping Your Shine: Understanding & Managing Misconceptions & Judgments.

Navigating Personal Branding

Are we selling ourselves along with our experiences?

Branding; personally making our truth into cash and a living. Where are the consequences?

Can you grow outside your brand or will it grow with you?

Do you turn your life into work? When something sweet and juicy happens in your life, if the first thought is that you can tweet about it, then maybe the personal branding needs a little more space.

Somewhere between being paid to do what you love and being turned into a product, cut into shiny pretty pieces to be sold, is the place of dancing. After all, a sales woman sells her patter, a model her beauty, a writer her ability, a builder her strength.

Are personal brands any different?

We are hardly the first generation to live and work with personal branding, it is ancient and powerful. What do you think the 18th Century society beauties, the notorious painters and poets, the famous highway man and the beloved princesses and witches were all doing? Maybe we are the first generation to conceptualise and use it so tactically. To teach it even.

I am an exercise in my own boundaries, comfort zone and living, breathing expression of truth. In the shape of a girl.

Where do your boundaries lie and what are you questioning?

Image courtesy of Aleksi Tappura.


Guest Post: A Contemplation of BeautyRemember the beauty of your body:

The curve in your neck

Crows feet around the eyes

Stretch marks from childbirth

Worn hands

Your belly with its round enjoyment

Beyond the untouched beauty of the newborn, our bodies show we have lived: we are alive.

Remember the beauty of your heart:

Sacrifices for the ones we love

Compassion for strangers

Empathy that our stories evoke

Peace when we truly feel heard

Anger that insists on better

Even fear that reminds us what is important, even as it stops us in our tracks. Our hearts’ beauty brings meaning, connects us.

Remember the beauty of the things we cannot know:

The moments of transcendence

Flow and wordlessness

The deep knowing of connection to all things.

True compassion: the love of self, and of all.

Just as a wave in an ocean is impermanent, so are we. And as the way, we will always be part of the wholeness and beauty of the ocean.

Remember the beauty of the things we disown:

The things we hide

Our struggles and shame

How we break social norms, feel ugly, alone.

These doorways to insightfulness and empathy

Routes to creativity that ‘normal’ never reach

The beauty of freedom when “What is wrong with you?” becomes merely “What is.”

Remember the beauty of ordinariness:

The gift of caring in the small ways

Getting up, brushing teeth, packing lunch

We deal with late trains, aching bodies, system errors

Celebrate mini-triumphs: yummy cakes, goals scored, songs shared

Getting on with our ordinary, imperfect, loving lives

Parents, carers, friends, children: beautiful not because they are extraordinary, but because of who they are. And that is enough.

Yes, remember the beauty of people:

How we connect, emphathise and argue.

How we weep, get stuck and try again.

How we move.

How we stay still.

How we love.

How we fail.

The beauty of the energy and impermanence of people in all our glorious imperfection. Ah, what beauty.

Devi Devi Clark coaches purposeful people who want a meaningful career in a charity or social enterprise, but are finding it hard to get their foot in the door. She is the founder of a social enterprise, the Outsiders’ Network, turning the pain of feeling different into the courage to change the world. Devi is the curator of TEDxAylesbury and the author of 4 books for ethical career changers which will be available on Kindle early in 2015. You can find out more at www.mynewleaf.co.uk.

Image courtesy of Francesco Gallarotti.