“If I could give my younger self some nurturing advice, I would tell her (or him [or them])…”– Kris Carr
Thinking back to my younger self, when she first got sick. If I could speak to her now and offer some nurturing advice, I would tell her…
You Are Enough
You are loved. You are amazing.
You are going through something extraordinary and it’s impacting you, that’s tough but it doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong.
Listen to your body as much as you can, she has wisdom to share with you.
Get a journal, keep writing. Write through the story.
Move your body in all the ways you can that feel good to you. It doesn’t matter how much your body does/doesn’t look like bodies in magazines, she is your best friend. Cherish her. And why are you reading those magazines? They leave you feeling awful about your body and less-than in your life. Put down what hurts you, pick up what fuels you. Ask yourself does it tire me or does it inspire me?
Screen-free time is golden.
Another Way is Possible
I love that you dare, keep daring. I love that you believe you can, so you try, I know you can and I am glad you did it.
Keep believing in magic. Don’t let them change you.
Wear whatever the hell you like.
Dye your hair, go into therapy, do what you need to do to be yourself.
You are worth dressing up for.
Keep close to the ground. Feel your roots. Look to your future.
Exhale. You don’t have to be in charge or everything – surrender. It’s ok to let go.
Sleep is more vital than you realise, don’t sacrifice it.
What you love now, you will love when you are 20 and 30 and more and that’s ok. Keep close to your heart.
Stay awake and aware, notice the beauty, joy and wonder. Allow yourself to pause in it, absorb it.
Relaxation and joy is not something to be checked off as you keep going.
I know you think you can eat gluten but I am sorry my love, you can’t eat gluten. It causes way more of your symptoms than you realise now. Let it go, see how much easier it is without that pain.
You Aren’t a
Mistfit, You’re a Trailblazer
Your view is as valid as any doctor’s. You are the expert in your body and experience.
You can make a wheelchair your power chariot, a stick can be your magic wand.
Also, wheelchairs can come in the colours you like, keep asking, advocate for yourself.
In all tough times, do it your way, it will be much easier than trying to struggle and fit in at the same time.
Don’t expect the medical bureaucracy to make sense to you, it won’t.
Don’t let the test results impact you too much, they are not testing the density or your soul, nor the strength of your spirit or the fertility of your mind. I believe you and I believe in you.
Healing is a marathon, not sprint. Keep seeking teachers, listen.
Exhale some more, let your breath drop into your belly. Let your belly, it’s ok. Release your jaw, yawn, stretch.
Well done for getting back to the garden, keep growing veggies, especially kale.
There are beloved rescue dogs waiting for you, friends you haven’t met yet who will love you, spaces you will feel welcomed and at home, ways of being that you can’t see right now but will feel like ease and honey to your heart.
Keep going, ask for what you need, do it your way, blaze your own trail.
What would you tell your younger self? Let me know in the comments!
P.S Would you like more journalling and manifesto ideas like this? Join me on Patreon for monthly resources and themed journalling prompts.