I am here now. I am alive and proud of it. I am in love, and I love so hard. I am a challenge and a challenger. I am a frond waving in the clear blue sky. I am a pale white sun lover. I am inside, sitting.
I am wearing a sky blue shirt from Jermyn Street. I am wearing the cuff links I bought with Linus from Debenhams in Swansea on a cloudy spring day.
I am dreaming of the seaside. I am aching, hurting, sore and sweet with it. I am a woman, I am everything I ever-never-ever wanted. I am someone who uses hyperbole in her writing and has certificates for her poetry. I am gulping novels, filling my home with books, boring through the pain with words. I am on a jail break and I am getting free. I am faithful, faith-filled and a believer in magic.
I have a beloved and feel loved. I have a reason to be here. I have a mission growing into a movement, it’s not what I asked for but it is what I needed.
I have a love of music that moves me. I have bright red toe nails for the first time in my life. I have a clear cool jar of water at my left hand. I have, of dear-heart believe me when I say that, I have a plan. I have determination, I have loyalty.
I have so many beautiful memories, experiences and people. I have a hundred, thousand, thousand blessings. I have lessons I am learning.
I have piles of books that I will read and unlimited things to learn. I have an aptitude for languages and a bent for academia.
I have yoga in the sunshine to do in a moment.
I want all the cliches. I want peace, freedom, love and hope. I want for the pain to go away, I want them to have families and to be safe. I want for the bad men to reform and for the swords to be made into ploughshares. I want the nuclear threat to be dismantled. I want every creature to be free. I want sunshine and smiles. I want de Sade not to have written what he did. I want there to be ease and peace in my times, in all times. I want to understand. And I want not to need to understand.
I want to lie under the sun and feel us spinning through the firmament, I want to live sparkling, dancing, easily, lovingly. I want to photograph my journey, I want to write my way across this world. I want to live deeply, scribbled in the margins, dog eared, watermarked, and well loved. I want to lick the juice, to swoon in the presence of the great masters.
I want to feel my heart lift as the prima ballerina leaps. I want to leap with her in spirit, just as I flew in the dusty classrooms, our satin covered feet mapping the tape on the floor; jeté, jeté, arabesque. I want to spend hours, days of my life in front of JMW Turner’s paintings. I want you to know that I would have stayed there, in front of them, that Linus had to drag me away. I want to make my life a tribute to that beauty I felt, it would be a fitting thing. I want to create my own beauty, that I am called to embody.
Share your summer snapshot over on my Facebook Page.