Why do we get upset about birthdays? Is it because we have a secret mental list of what we wanted to achieve by this age? Or what we feel we ‘should‘ have achieved?

This isn’t The Game of Life, and if you are a Trail Blazer then you will have gone off track at one time or another. You may have done things you never expected and skipped the conventional achievements for something entirely different.

Or maybe you feel you’ve missed out on the ‘normal’ aspects of life entirely. And since you felt like it was your right to experience those aspects, you are left feeling cheated and as if you don’t seem to have much in their place.

When our friends and peers are ‘moving on’ in their lives, perhaps marrying, having children, buying houses, forging ahead in their chosen careers it can be easy to feel left behind. Especially if you are living with a chronic illness. 

It’s tempting to think – how will I ever meet someone when I can’t leave the house? Who would want someone with as many issues as me?

I’m not going to say it’s not hard – it is. But one thing having to blaze our own trail teaches us is to really look at where we choose to put our focus, time and energy.

It’s easy to go down the school-university-marriage-career-home-children, etc. route. But you can’t follow the path you’d imagined or expected because you are having to blaze your own trail.

Yes it’s hard, but with this responsibility comes an amazingly liberating opportunity:

If you aren’t doing what was expected of you, then you can choose what to do entirely. (Click to Tweet!)

You can plan what you’d like your life to look like.

It can seem silly when outside circumstances (illness, money, housing, energy) limit you, but those are limits that can be circumnavigated.

Think now – what conventions are you following which you really don’t want to follow at all? Perhaps you want to dye your hair, eat in the garden instead of at the table., or book appointments on a Thursday, not a Monday. These little changes can seem insignificant but they are essential in exploring our own pleasures and fostering independent agency.

Can you instead make a list of all the things you have achieved? For example, maybe on your list you can put:

– Survived

– Thrived with illness

– Formed close friendships

– Been a supportive friend

– Supported charity (you can always support Healing Boxes.)

– Learned to …… (drive/knit etc)

– Created……

– Enjoyed….

Leave your list in the comments and let’s celebrate our achievements and Trail Blazing lives!

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Image courtesy of Danka Peter via Unsplash.com